I Want to be Happy as You

 I remember when my ex-husband cheated me and threw me out of my own house on the street, and sold it by evil, I was completely lonely. Nobody wanted to speak to me, even friends and relatives, nobody could help, understand. I was so afraid alone. But because I already knew Krishna, I prayed to Him. Only doing sankirtana from morning to evening I could maintain myself and be happy. My calamity was so big that only sankirtana leaded by Lord Caitanya could pacify me and help. Otherwise I was just mental. But Lord Caitanya saved me, He picked me up, brought nice people – He was the best friend. I was sleeping with Him on one pillow on the street, I was eating together with Him. He was always next to me. He was always very loving. I was never afraid. I know if not His mercy I would not be alive. He showed me where to go, He arranged all the things, He sent me to right people, He fed me with His hands. I was not alone, I had the best friend. I know, you can hardly believe it. But to get special Lord’s mercy Krishna says in “Bhagavad-gita” that sometimes He takes away everything from His sincere devotee to make him closer. Now I know that Krishna is my best friend, my best lover, my best father. And nobody can eradicate this faith from me. I got so much close to the Lord. Nobody can isolate us. And this is the greatest bliss in your life. Even every day, hour you come closer to Him – there is no limit to stop deepening relationship. You start to know that no one else will take so good care of Krishna as you do, and that He takes care of you in reciprocation. The relation becomes very intimate. It becomes deep love. Experiencing this bliss you become so much compassionate to other people who struggle so much with the illusion. Therefore you go out on book distribution to give them Krishna, to make them happy, blissful. With much more strength and faith. They have to understand that only Lord can be the best companion, friend, advisor. Your strong belief you pass on others. Then people really believe you. They see that it is real, not artificial – they tell me: “You are so happy, I also want to be happy”. Then I give them the book to make them happy too. Next time when I meet them they are friendly, one more time – supportive, another time – happy to see you. You can watch how people change, You give them your blissful association removing all sorrows from their faces. Before your coming person might be very morose, but looking at your smile and happiness out of a sudden his face changes to beautiful one and smiling too. That is the secret of preaching success. For that you must change spiritually yourself. Then you can change the world. In the beginning you must trust your spiritual master, Prabhupada and scriptures. Then gradually divine taste will come. Krishna will show up, inspired with your determination. And only then heavenly pastime starts. He saves fallen souls and you help. Then nobody can say “no”.

Oh, You have Vedic Literature!

During Prabhupada marathon I was distributing sets of books through flats. On the first floor nobody bought, so I climbed up to the second floor. The door was opened by one man. I started presenting the books: “Here is Vedic literature..” “Vedas?” The man replied. “Which books You have are the Vedas?” I gave him “Bhagavad-gita” telling that it is the first book of the Vedas, then gave all books of “Srimad-Bhagavatam” I had. He looked at them and took. Then I showed to him “The Science of Self-Realisation”, but he nodded his head and put the book aside. Then I showed to him “The Nectar of Devotion”, “Teachings of Lord Caitanya” and other books I had. He was holding plenty of books in his hands, because he respected Vedic literature. He was very happy to receive all Vedic literature books I had and gave nice donation. Somehow he did not take “The Science of Self-Realisation”. Maybe he had it already and was reading it? Still it is the question mark for me. I was  so happy that at that time I had the whole set of Prabhupada books to deliver to him. I believe that this man will become very expert in Vedic science. Prabhupada’s intelligence and mercy ki, jaya!

I went to the neighbour of this man, and the door opened drunk woman. I thought: “Yes, here I will not do much”. So automatically I explained to her about the book “Science of Self-Realisation” which was the only left for me at that time, because all my books I gave to her neighbour. She was listening to my words very carefully. When I finished she told me: “I really need this book”. I was happy with her eagerness. “But I do not have money now”, she continued. “I can give to You something else in exchange. I have plenty jars of jams, You can take all of them in exchange”. I was so moved with her desire to take that book, and I really wanted her to stop drinking, so I took all jars of jams she gave me. My bag was again full. And I brought them to the temple to pack my bag with books again. Lord Paramatma sitting in everyone’s heart knows everything and is very merciful.

I do not know hindi, and many shop-keepers do not know english or can’t read at all. I was distributing Prabhupada books just through the shops, located near the temple. I wanted them so much to take at least one book. Or more. I was coming to the sells men, putting the books on their tables or in their hands first to melt their tables and hearts. Then looked at their eyes telling “Radhe-Shyam Vrindavan” and smiling. In Delhi everyone knows Vrindavan and Radha-Shyamasundara. If they do not know, at least they can feel Their Lordships in my words. Then immediately I continue: “Twenty (or more) rupees Radhe-Shyam”, again smiling, showing the amount of rupees with my fingers. So that everyone immediately could understand everything without wasting valuable time. The men were laughing or smiling at me, taking the books and giving lakshmi. It was long long street with shops and nearly everyone took at least one book. For richer shops I distributed sets with Bhagavad-gita and other books. I do not know what those people were thinking, were they giving money for Radha-Shyama indeed. Of course, they were. Because Krishna is everywhere, especially in His pastimes. You just need to know how to present Him according to time, place and circumstances, so that people could not deny and take Krishna books becoming the devotees. For that You must love Krisna himself and give that love to people.

The same happened during harinama, but book distribution was much more powerful, because of many devotees’, Holy Name and Lord Caitanya’s presence. People could not escape. They felt deep love and devotion, so they were coming themselves to take the mercy.

Once I chanted 64 rounds, therefore by the grace of Manjari Herself people approached me, not me them…

I came to one car in the car yard next to the shopping centre. I presented the “Srimad-Bhagavatam” to one man. He gave me nice donation, but told me that he does not need the book. I told him that he really needs it. He told “no” smiling. I also smiled and insisted: “You really need this Holy book”. Again smiling he told “no”. I was even more smiling: “You don’t know how much You need it”. He started to laugh: “I really do not need it”. Then out of a sudden “Srimad-Bhagavatam” slipped out of my gloves and was nearly falling into his car… I exclaimed: “Catch it, it is falling!” He could not believe it and continued to look at me. Then the book really jumped directly into his hands through the window of the car. He was nickering already looking at the book in his hands. I explained to him: “Srimad-Bhagavatam is God Himself, so she chooses Her readers”, and went away leaving happily astonished driver.

One man in the car told me that he already has the books I present to him. I replied: “No problem, give them as a present to Your relatives or neighbours”. He was thinking. “Don’t think, just give God’s mercy to them, don’t be selfish”. Out of a sudden he gave me money and took the books. Lord Caitanya’s eagerness pierced his ignorant heart. Holding “Srimad-Bhagavatam” in his hands he became very happy, because Lord Caitanya or Radha were happy. This man became humble and merciful to his close ones.  And all his appearance changed to shining one in one minute.

One old man bought a book “Prabhupada” from me. When his wife saw it, she tapped the book from his hands and threw it on another car. He seized it and put on his chest. Again she grabbed the book from him and scaled it on the same car. He again scragged the book shouting on her for her behaviour. Then she told him: “You do not need it”. He replied: “Yes, I need it”! Finally the old couple fell-out. But the man won by holding the book and not allowing his wife to take it from him. Because he felt Prabhupada’s love through the book.

By Jagat Kirti Devi Dasi from Europe, Lithuania (JPS)