Caitanyananda in Vrindavan
A few months ago I helped cremate the body of my friend Radha-Kunda Dasa down at the Yamuna River. Yesterday I visited a great book distribution hero from Finland named Caitanyananda Dasa. He told me they've given him about another week to live. To some he may look emaciated, and even scary, with a soft-ball-sized tumor in one armpit and his body skeletal due to his digestive system's shutting down. He told me he's having a really hard time even drinking water now. While I was visiting him, he very laboriously and painfully vomited up most of the little bit of water he had just drunk.
Then I had an amazing realization about him. I said, "Caitanyananda, you're an angel."
He looked a little startled and somewhat skeptical, but he seemed willing to hear me out. So I continued: "Caitanyananda, you gave so many books to so many people because you knew the knowledge would free them from the samsara cycle of birth and death. There's no greater way to demonstrate compassion."
He nodded his agreement.
I continued: "More than anything else, you're compassionate about the suffering of others. You've shown that. That's also the qualification of an angel. Right now you're in a troublesome condition, with a body that's giving you pain and difficulty. In a few days, though, you'll be free from this encumbrance and take your position as the great and powerful angel you really are. I need your blessings. I have a request I'd like to make of you, Prabhu."
His eyes opened enough through the haze of pain medication to convince me that he was interested in whatever it was I had in mind, so I let fly and begged him for his help. "Caitanyananda," I said, "if there's any way you can help me re-establish Harinama Sankirtan on planet earth, I'm begging you to do so."
He satisfied my plea by smiling and nodding and wishing me the best, and then I thanked both him and Anandavardhana Dasa, the wonderful devotee looking after all his needs, and took my leave of them.
Now, though, I'm understanding the real value of that entire experience. Many times devotees used to ask Srila Prabhupada how they could become sincere. Prabhupada's answer was always very simple and straightforward. He would always just tell them to do it any way they could. Speaking for myself, I'd have to say the biggest doubter about my level of sincerity has always been me. I'm the one that's always been least confident in my true commitment and dedication to the most important, valuable, and worthwhile things in my life. A little while after my meeting with Caitanyananda, however, it occurred to me that I'd just asked a dying man for help. That's pretty well convinced me that I'm sincere in my desire to kick-start a new round of Harinama on earth and in that way avert the otherwise inevitable consequences that await us all.
Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare/ Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare.
Sarvopama Dasa
