Distributing Books at the Time of Death
Do You imagine distributing books at the time of death? I did it, maybe not perfectly, but Krishna values our endeavours.
I was very young then, and little bit naive, so not much careful about the dangers. I was also on the swing of the ecstasy of spiritual book distribution. I thought by Krishna's mercy everyone is welcoming me and is so hospitable, even dogs. I thought I could make dogs devotees. Maybe, but not in the owner's house.
I entered the closed fence to move to the stranger's house. I was doing like this the whole area, there were no dogs or they were small and not dangerous. Suddenly I saw big white dog, maybe taller than me. Similar to white lion. He was looking at me and moving his tail "friendly". I loved dogs, so I talked to him nicely and made a step forward. Immediately he jumped on me, I was holding the set of 6 holy books in my both hands, trying to cover my face. He grabbed my white blouse (it was thin because of hot summer) and swallowed it in one bite. Second bite was on my naked hand. I was thinking: "Now I am going to die during holly sankirtan of Lord Caitanya", so my last words were "Nrisimha, Nrisimha, help!" I was loudly repeating Nrisimha's name three times in big pain when the dog was eating my hand. So loudly, that Lord Nrisimha could hear me from a distance. The owners ran out of the house forwards me in horror hearing my scream. They immediately grabbed the dog, stopping him from eating me. I was nearly unconscious because of the disaster and big pain, looking at my blouse red from blood.
The couple put me into the car and brought to the hospital. On the way they asked shortly how am I. I put the set of Prabhupada's books in their hands and asked for a donation, also shortly. Without any words the man gave me nice donation and took books. My sankirtana at this house was very painful, very short and successful.
They brought me bloody to the hospital, the doctors checked my hand all in wounds, prickled the needle with a medicine from hydrophobia, and let me go. The couple was waiting for me outdoors. Without any more words they asked me where do I live and brought me to the temple. I was living there in the ashram as brahmacarini. And quickly left me in big pain. Only devotees took care of me.
I was thinking: "No use to do anything else for those people, because it was my fault to be at their yard with the dog. But there was any sign for the dog. How could I know?" But Krishna knows. In this way He gave them the whole set of holy books and purified me from my attachment to dogs and sins. Actually during my childhood I could not live without dogs. I was bringing so many dogs to my parents' house, and all of them either died or ran away. Those pups were eating everything in my parent's house – all furniture. But they were silent because of respect to my feelings to dogs. Now I do not hate dogs, but understand their brutish nature and avoid them. When I distribute books through closed houses, first I open the fence, make a noise with it, wait, look if the dog is coming to the noise. There is no problem anymore with friendship to dogs to serve the Lord. I changed my feelings from a dog to God overcoming my bad karma. My own house now protects not a dog, but the most powerful God as Radha-Shyamasundara. Lord Caitanya helped me to do that.
On sankirtan our karma burns so quickly by the most merciful Lord Gauranga, Radharani. In few years you can become completely different person. Therefore understanding that, the next day I was on sankirtan again, with swathed hand. I even could not notice how my hand healed, because I was always busy in ecstasy serving the Lord and people, but avoiding dogs.
Will I continue distributing the Holy Name when the death really knocks at my door? Dear vaishnavas, please, bless me.
By Jagat Kirti Devi Dasi from Europe, Lithuania (JPS)
